He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
