exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
she peed on how many people?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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