That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
