I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
