quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
