He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
