I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
