I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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