I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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