what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
