we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I've blown a few things in my day
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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