that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
