Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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