Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
