Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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