It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
