My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
