hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
