I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
