i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
