I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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