Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
