Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
sarcasm needs its own font
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
