there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
