mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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