There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Still dying that you shit outside
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
