the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
