wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Rumble strips road head = magical
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
