can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Please don't give away my fajitas
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
