when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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