fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
