i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
