Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
