well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I would fuck him just for his dog
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
