Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
