hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
