Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
