Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
