And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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