She's JV to your varsity
you guys were way drunker than both of me
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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