How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
