My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
