everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
