The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
