I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The Olympian is in my bed
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
