i would punch a child for taco bell
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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