Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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