Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
