Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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