after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
