I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
These tits shall not be calmed
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
