Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I believe in your delicious
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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