I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just threw up on my dentist
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
